Sad Day for U.S. Women

The Supreme Court decision to overturn Roe V. Wade, the landmark ruling on abortion, came down yesterday. Anti-abortion groups have been actively working toward this day for the past 50 years. As a Catholic, I should be celebrating a victory for life as the Church sees it. But I cannot celebrate when the decision means that countless children will be born into poverty and a bleak future. I can’t be happy that victims of rape may be forced to carry the child of their attackers. And I’m troubled considering all the women who will risk their lives getting illegal abortions in states where it is banned.

Because make no mistake: women will continue to have abortions. Wealthy ones will find ways to have their doctors perform the procedure for them. But poor women, already at risk in a country that struggles to provide adequate health care for them, are likely to choose dangerous methods to rid themselves of an unwanted pregnancy – just as they did in the years before Roe V. Wade gave women autonomy over their bodies.

Let me be clear. I am personally opposed to abortion. I adhere to the Catholic Church’s stance that life begins at conception and that every life is precious. But my religious beliefs should not form the basis of public policy. In the past 30 years, Christian groups have made inroads into laws and government regulations as our highest court in the land has moved toward the Right. Public funding for abortion has been banned. Companies have been given the right to deny insurance coverage for contraception to their employees. Religious schools are on the brink of receiving taxpayer money. But let’s be real. These encroachments upon the separation between church and state have favored Christians, not other religious groups. These policies are a direct assault on the First Amendment: “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof.”

The hypocrisy also kills me. At the same time that the Supreme Court is acting to curtail women’s rights, it has affirmed the rights of Americans to carry weapons of death wherever they please. Just weeks after 19 schoolchildren were massacred, the Justices saw fit to rule in favor of gun owners. Many of the same people who vehemently oppose abortion vehemently support unfettered access to guns. How can these people say with a straight face that they are “pro life”?

I would love to see a world in which abortion is unnecessary and unknown. Yet many religious groups oppose contraception, which over the past decades has caused a dramatic drop in the number of abortions. The Catholic Church often talks about the “greater evil” in matters of morality. Clearly the greater evil for Catholics is abortion. Why not, then, support women’s access to reliable means of controlling the number of children they have?

Women have made great inroads in society since the advent of legalized abortion and contraception. Their ability to decide when to have children and how many to have has been key to their success in the workforce and in positions of power. Yesterday’s ruling endangers the progress of half of the U.S. population. Is that really the legacy we want to pass down to our daughters?

Stuff Dads Do

Me and My Dad

The following is a highly idiosyncratic, opinionated and probably sexist list of Dad behavior based on my personal experience as both a daughter and wife:

Dads like to sit down. Whether it’s hours on the couch watching TV or long afternoons outside on a rickety patio chair with a beer bottle in hand, the dads I’ve known have enjoyed nothing more than relaxing on their keisters while chaos reigns around them. The sitting Dad is an ideal target for sleeve-pulling, head-rubbing, and climbing on his lap for attention and cuddles. Some of my favorite pictures of my husband show him on our couch, remote in hand, with one of our babies or toddlers, both of them staring open-mouthed at the television set.

Dads can tune out the aforementioned chaos. We used to test my Dad when he’d be lounging in his La-Z-Boy with the newspaper. “Dad,” we’d chime, ” there’s a giant bug on your head.” Or “Dad, your feet are on fire.” “Dad, I’m going to go out and play in the street.” To all of which my dad would peacefully mutter, “Mmm-hmm,” never once letting his eyes leave the paper.

Dads have an uncanny ability to rile the kids up just before bedtime. Whether tossing shrieking little ones into the air or making silly noises and faces to make their kids giggle uncontrollably, dads have a tendency to descend on the household at night and playing the conquering hero to their children’s delight and their wives’ disgruntlement. “Keep her up until I get home,” my husband used to plead with me over the phone as I blearily tried to manage a few more hours of tending to our first-born, desperate to put her to bed and relax.

Dads tell bad jokes. My father loved corny jokes and puns. (I think I inherited this trait from him!) He’d play the part of a medieval king and cackle maniacally while pretending to pick up his dinner with his hands. My mother was never amused. He sang, “She has freckles on her butt. She is nice, she is nice,” and then chuckle proudly. Judging from all the “Dad Joke” memes I see on Facebook, this trait of fathers seems almost universal.

Dads have a weird fashion sense. At least my husband does. He wears what my kids call “groutfits,” garbed head to toe in gray. He’ll go out in public in baggy sweats and a polo shirt. My kids love to mock his favorite ratty sweatshirt, which makes him look truly down and out, especially when he hasn’t shaved in a few days. Luckily, he can clean up well on special occasions. But mostly he’s mastered the “hobo chic” look.

Dads know mountains of sports statistics but can’t remember their kids’ birthdays. Sometimes even their names! How many times did my father stumble through the list of his progeny before getting to “Mary” when addressing me. Dads are also hard of hearing. They never seem to be able to hear babies crying, kids fighting, or wives asking them to do chores.

Dads can open stuff no one else can: jar lids, electronics packaging, stubborn drawers, tight screws. They either have the right tools – Dads collect tools like baseball cards – or else they have superhuman strength that saves the day when Mom is trying furiously to cook for a couple of little toddlers clinging to her legs and can’t open the jar of Ragu.

Dads don’t mind killing nasty bugs. We’ve been dealing with a bit of a stink bug infestation, and my husband walks placidly around the house picking them up and flushing them down the toilet. Never squish a stink bug!

Dads give bear hugs instead of ordinary hugs. They are willing to get down on their hands and knees and let Junior jump on their back for a horsey ride. They give life advice and, most especially, advice on cars. My dad’s first question to me when I was a young adult visiting him was always, “How’s your car running?” He instructed me never to let my gas tank dip below a quarter of a tank and once even had my muffler replaced unbeknownst to me. The result was an engine that purred so quietly I proceeded to lock my keys in the car while it was still running.

Dads are the morning coffee in our lives. We just can’t do without them.

Happy Father’s Day!

The Scary Power of Propaganda

Fox News hosts have absolutely no sense of irony. On a day when Congressional hearings on the January 6 riot and insurrection at the Capitol are scheduled to be broadcast, morning host Harris Faulkner was dwelling on the actions of a man arrested in D.C. with various deadly weapons who said he was planning to kill Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh. While this incident is certainly disturbing and the actions of this man heinous, Faulkner chose to blame Democrats for inciting him to violence. She showed clips of various Democrats denouncing the Justice for supporting an end to Roe V. Wade with dramatic statements such as, “You have released the whirlwind and you will pay the price.”

The irony came in her statement to guest Sen. John Kennedy (R-LA), “You’ve given us a primer in the power of words” to incite violence – in this case violence against a Supreme Court Justice. Where were Faulkner’s denunciations of Donald Trump when he gave a speech within yards of the Capitol in which he exhorted his followers to refuse to accept the results of a democratic and lawfully carried out presidential election? How about the power of those words, Harris?

Fox News is, of course, the only major network that will not broadcast the hearings in our nation’s capital. That’s because notwithstanding its name, Fox News is no more a news station than Breitbart or InfoWars. In the Fox News world, the terrible events of January 6 were a minor kerfuffle. Violence only happens in Democrat-controlled cities. Mass shootings are never the fault of guns, only people with mental health problems and, in the case of the Uvalde shooting, cowardly police officers. You know they are desperate to deflect when conservatives go after the cops.

Some of the things that come out on Fox News would be laughable if they weren’t so dangerously skewed against balance and objectivity. For many people, Fox is their only source of information. Therefore, they are filling their brain with a steady diet of bias and misinformation. As the events of January 6 showed, such misinformation can tip the balance in our democracy and open the doors for mob rule.

I hope the facts that come to light during the Congressional hearings give the majority of Americans a clear picture of what happened on that fateful day in January – and open the way for serious consideration of how to protect our fragile democracy.

Teachers Touch Lives

As the school year winds down and teachers turn out the lights in their classrooms for the summer, I find myself reflecting on the many teachers, good and bad, I have known throughout my life – and the impact they can have on the children they teach.

In the past couple of months, two teachers from my past have died. They couldn’t have been more different, yet thinking about them has given me a renewed appreciation for one of our most difficult yet important professions.

James Berger was my high school French teacher for three years. To his students he was known as Monsieur Berger (pronounced bear-zhay, s’il vous plait!) A flamboyant character in the classroom, M. Berger was definitely one of a kind. I must admit I grew tired of his teaching after three long years with him and his regular pronouncements, such as “C’est fini les comedies francaise!” when he was angry with an unruly class.

And yet I was surprised to learn about his multi-faceted life upon his death at age 90. For instance, he was born in Deadwood, South Dakota, a seemingly improbable origin if you knew him. He was in the army as a young man and obtained a masters degree from the prestigious Northwestern University. He also spent summers perfecting his French in Quebec, France, and Belgium. Had I known just how accomplished he was, I might not have been so mercilessly mocking of his quirky style in the classroom. Most importantly, the many facets to M. Berger’s life remind me that teachers are so much more than the image they project in the classroom.

Another teacher who passed away recently was my son’s beloved fourth grade teacher Danny Riehle. Mrs. Riehle was a tiny, pixie-like woman whose smile always lit up the room. She gently and expertly guided her students with innovative lessons and plenty of hands-on learning. Her “living classroom,” a beautiful garden on the grounds of the school, is a lasting testament to her visionary approach to teaching. To this day, students plant and harvest vegetables each year in the living classroom. They learn about bees and Monarch butterflies and the circle of life in a very tangible way as they get close to nature.

When my son was in fourth grade, Mrs. Riehle invited parents to come in and read to the class from a book of their choice. My son chose a rather frightening scene from the Harry Potter series for me to read when it was my turn. I remember Mrs. Riehle’s warm welcome and her appreciation of the written word, which was the impetus behind the program. Most of all, her quiet acceptance of each child as a unique gift is what set her apart as a beloved and influential adult in her students’ lives.

This past Sunday, on Danny Riehle’s birthday, her family, friends, colleagues and former students gathered to celebrate in her memory. Like M. Berger, Mrs. Riehle had a full and vibrant personal life alongside her professional one. I was glad to get a glimpse into that other side of this remarkable woman.

Teachers have been under a lot of pressure in the past few decades. The expectations place upon them and the modern-day difficulties thrust upon them make the profession a particularly stressful one. Let’s try to show our appreciation for all they do to nurture and educate our children in this complex modern world. And let’s remember their humanity, the behind-the-scenes individuals we seldom get to know.