Behind the Veil

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Women and their head coverings have been much in the news lately. There have been alternating praise and criticism for Melania and Ivanka Trump, for instance, for their sartorial choices on their recent Mideast trip with the president.

Some found hypocrisy in the fact that the women refused to wear a hijab when in Saudi Arabia but were practically covered head to toe in black to meet the pope. Others cheered their spunk and refusal to bow to a hated Islamist ideology. Similar decisions to cover or not cover their heads have been the subject of criticism for other First Ladies, such as Michelle Obama.

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To all of this I have to ask, what’s the big deal? I am far more disturbed by the fact that President Trump said nothing about the dreadful state of women’s rights in Saudi Arabia than whether the First Lady was making a pointed political statement by allowing her hair to be seen. On the other hand, such criticism might be seen as hypocritical coming from a man who does not seem to hold women in particularly high regard. Still, it’s all relative, and I hope that at least privately the president put pressure on Saudi Arabia to advance the rights of women as a condition for continuing to arm them to the teeth.

What I find most disturbing about the recent brouhaha over headwear for women is that society persists in judging every single thing about a woman’s choices, right down to her clothing and hair. It’s the 21st Century, and yet we’re still focused on women as ornaments, somehow not fully human. No one mused philosophically about what the color of Donald Trump’s tie or the cut of his suit might indicate about his beliefs or intentions.

Muslim women who choose to wear the veil do so for myriad reasons, most of them religious. Why that choice should be denigrated and looked upon as political is beyond me. The primary purpose in covering one’s head and chest seems to be modesty. What devout Christian would have a problem with women being modest? Yet because of terrorism and the need to demonize those who oppose us, Americans have taken a hostile stance against Muslim women in hijab.

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Years ago, there was a great TV series called Jack and Bobby. It was about two young brothers, one of whom would one day become the president of the United States. The boys’ mother, played by Christine Lahti, is a college professor, and she has a hostile exchange with a female student who wears the hijab. In a memorable scene, Lahti’s character attacks the woman for allowing herself to be controlled by a male-dominated culture. The young woman throws back her belief that American women are the ones being controlled by men’s need to see them as perfect physical specimens whose looks are constantly on display.

That exchange gave me pause back in the Nineties, and it sticks with me to this day. Women of all cultures should be free to dress and speak and act in whatever way they choose. And it should be their character, intelligence, and personal inner qualities that are focused on, not their clothing, their hair, their modesty, or the lack thereof.

The real veil women are often required to hide behind is the metaphorical one imposed by a society that still does not see them as equal to men. Until we address that reality, what a woman does or does not wear on her head makes very little difference at all.

Eyes Off the Prize

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Since Donald Trump’s inauguration as president last Friday, there have been a lot of memes, videos and articles about trivial aspects of the day: crowd sizes, the president’s demeanor, Kellyanne Conway’s hideous outfit, and the like. Many people speculated on the nature of Mr. and Mrs. Trump’s marriage, comparing photos of the serious couple to the smiling and relaxed Obamas. Some went even further and mocked the president’s young son Barron. All of this kind of mean-spirited gossip needs to stop.

First of all, photos can distort reality. Taking a snapshot of one moment is not necessarily indicative of the whole event or experience. Some critics argued that the photos comparing Trump’s crowds to Obama’s were taken at different times of day and couldn’t be used to compare the support for each respective president. Donald and Melania may have been more serious because this is all new for them whereas Barack and Michelle have had eight years in the White House to grow into their roles.

The second issue I have with this mockery is that it is mean. We have no way of knowing what kind of relationship the new president and first lady have, and frankly, it’s none of our business. (Mind you, I believe the same about the Clintons, and they certainly were not spared scrutiny.) Furthermore, it is just wrong to make fun of a child, no matter how much you may despise his parent. Neither Melania nor Barron signed up for ridicule. They were not elected by the people. Leave them alone.

Furthermore, such mean-spirited mocking just plays into the hands of Trump supporters. They can rightly point out how cruel and petty these kinds of jokes and gossip are. We need to take a page from the Obama playbook and stay above the fray of these kinds of personal attacks. I guess the guideline could be, if it looks like something that would be at home on the cover of the Globe or National Enquirer, don’t post it.

Finally, while pundits and partisans are busy lobbing insults at the Trump marriage or his spokeswoman’s fashion sense, President Trump and the Republican Congress have gotten down to business dismantling the Obama legacy: backing out of TPP, signing an order to begin the demise of Obamacare, renewing environmentally disastrous pipeline projects, defunding women’s health care, and approving Trump’s horrendous Cabinet choices.

Rather than dwelling on minutiae and cheap shots, we should be scrutinizing President Trump’s executive actions, the backgrounds of his administrative picks, and the legislation being proposed by the new Congress. We should be spending our time writing about important issues and our energy holding our elected officials’ feet to the fire about our values and beliefs.

Let’s keep our eyes on the prize: a vibrant, diverse, open, and free democracy.