Hey, You!

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In my household, I am known for vociferously chastising people who can neither hear me nor defend themselves – from the safety of my car, for example. So in that spirit, I decided to share some of the petty annoyances that get me so wound up on any given day.

Dear Middle School Mom,

The school drop off lane is not the ideal location for your heart to heart talk with your daughter. I would prefer that you come to a rolling stop and have her jump out as quickly as possible. I have to get home to drive the next kid to his destination.

Dear Starbucks Patron,

I’m glad you’re besties with the barista, but when the line is out the door, could you cut the chitchat? The rest of us are dying from lack of caffeine.

Dear Grocery Store Customer,

If you have a dispute about your bill, could you please bring it to customer service? The poor, hapless people in line behind you don’t have an extra 15 minutes for you to go over your receipt with a fine-toothed comb.

Dear Chevy Suburban Driver,

You are apparently under the mistaken assumption that “big cars own the road.” How else to account for your barreling through that stop sign and almost hitting my more modest-sized SUV?Please wait your turn – or better yet, buy a Prius.

Dear Twenty-Something Sales Clerk,

I’m sure your conversation with Bitsy is riveting, but I am a paying customer. I don’t care to wait while you wrap up your convo with your best bud. And would it kill you to smile?

Dear Dog Walker,

That nasty piece of dog turd is not going to pick itself up. That’s your job. And this is my property!

Dear Son and Daughter,

Would it kill you to pick up your wet towel off the bathroom floor, place your dishes in the sink, or put the milk back in the fridge before stuff starts growing inside the bottle? Never mind. You two I can yell at in person!

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