After a visit to the pediatrician when my son was about five years old, he innocently asked me, “Mommy, can boys be doctors?” I wanted to clap with glee. Clearly women have made great strides in society.
Yet from where I stand, we have a long way to go. So I have been imagining a utopia in which women were in charge. Here are some of the things that would happen if women ran the world.
If women ran the world, public restrooms for us would be twice the size of men’s at any given venue. There is nothing more frustrating than standing in a long line for the ladies room and watching men bounce in and out of the men’s room like ping pong balls.
If women ran the world, research money would be poured into finding a method of breast imaging that did not resemble a medieval torture device. Furthermore, each mammogram would come with a free massage and dip in the whirlpool.
If women ran the world, having your hair colored would be covered by health insurance.
If women ran the world, every household would have his and hers remotes – heck, his and hers TVs! – so that women would be free to binge watch “Scandal” whenever they wanted.
If women ran the world, Monday Night Football would be replaced by Downton Abbey.
If women ran the world, glossy magazines would feature shirtless hunks instead of anorexic models.
If women ran the world, spitting, crotch-scratching, and cat-calling would be illegal and punishable by being sentenced to 40 hours of housework.
If women ran the world, they would make 100 cents on the dollar as compared to men in the workplace.
So I’m calling upon all you women and girls out there to get busy glomming onto power – before I get too old to enjoy my massage.